Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Thursday, June 18, 2009

1st Annual "Ehch Is Bored" Contest on Twitter - come play!

Mmkay. The 1st Annual (or weekly, if these antibiotics keep me laying facedown in my bed for much longer) Ehch's Boredom Contest on Twitter will begin at 8 a.m. EST on Friday, June 19th. Up to three prizes shall be awarded (if there are enough people playing along to warrant a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place finish, that is), and they will be based on the recipient's taste (i.e. if the winner is a movie buff, s/he'll get a DVD; we'll discuss it once you actually win).

**********
NOTE (Fri. June 19 @ 9:30 a.m.):

The complete rules etc. can be read

HERE

(I removed them from this post to un-clutter things a bit - my friends' progress has already begun to be posted below!

**********




The winner(s) will be announced by 8 p.m. EST on Saturday!


I already have several challenges in mind, so I'll set about scheduling them into HootSuite ASAP. :) Let's have a little fun with our Friday, folks!





IT'S FRIDAY!

Wanna keep track of people's progress?

SO FAR...



8 a.m. - #1. Upload a song about "morning" and post the link here on Twitter for me to download. GO! (Bonus points if it's "Friday morning"!)


9 a.m. - #2. Be the first person to find a celebrity whose birthday is today (June 19th) AND who has a Twitter account. (There's gotta be someone!)
  • @madam_mina - 1 point for PAULA ABDUL!
  • @pweifenbach - honourable mention for being so close with the same answer.


10 a.m. - #3. Six Degrees Of Separation: Connect any of the following (by musical association) to Level 42! : The Killers, Rod Stewart, Rihanna, INXS, Eric Clapton, Kanye West, Radiohead. (It's hard, so you get choices! There must be a MUSICAL LINK - played together, etc.) FYI re: #3 - you get a point for solving the link, no matter who's fastest, so no need to rush like mad on what I knew was a tough one. ;)
  • @madam_mina - 1 point for an INCREDIBLY impressive answer (which I won't post yet while others are working on it, but BRAVO)! "Dominic Miller played with them in '79 later played with Sting - "It's Probably Me" (Feat. Eric Clapton)"
  • @pweifenbach - 1 point for ANOTHER impressive (and totally different!) answer! "Mark King and Mike Lindup performed with Eric Clapton at Prince's Trust concert in '86..."
  • @ShayneWinters - 1 point for Lethal Weaponry! "Dominic Miller played with Sting, who sang "It's Probably Me" with Eric Clapton on the Lethal Weapon 3 soundtrack."


11 a.m. - #4.Name four Grammy-winning musical artists who are Canadian. Then link me to a video on YouTube by one of those artists. GO!
  • @madam_mina - a TIE! 2 points for being the first, with Joni Mitchell, Michael Buble, James Ehnes, The Band
  • @ShayneWinters - 2 points - a TIE for answering at the same moment as @madam_mina! Joni Mitchell, Michael Buble, James Ehnes, Celine Dion
  • @pweifenbach - 1 point for Michael Buble, Joni Mitchell, Alanis Morissette, and Sarah McLachlan
  • @herstorian - 1 point for Alanis Morissette, Bryan Adams, Leonard Cohen, and Celine Dion.
  • @aliciamcauley - 1 point for Joni Mitchell, Michael Buble, K.D. Lang, Diana Krall



12 p.m. - #5. It's lunch time here in Ontario! But here's a trivia question for you: How many time zones exist across Canada? (Ignore the DST thing!)


1 p.m. - #6. Scavenger Hunt! Find 5 photos featuring my 1st name (NOT handwritten; I mean street signs, billboards etc.)! Links ok here or at DW.


2 p.m. - #7. Will you be the first person to persuade a famous author to send me a get-well Tweet?


3 p.m. - #8. Find a complete stranger on Twitter, send him/her a note saying you have a crush on him/her, & link me to the tweet. Bonus for reply!
  • @pweifenbach - LOL at saying "NOT!"
  • @herstorian - she did it! (link pending - 1 point) 2 POINTS! http://ow.ly/f8tI !


4 p.m. - #9. Put all of the songs on The Beatles' "Abbey Road" in alphabetical order & tweet the first word of each to me. GO!
(I'm granting points to all due to the creativity of presentation)


5 p.m. - #10. Do you think you can bribe/talk a famous musician into sending me a get-well tweet before 8 a.m. tomorrow?
  • PENDING!


6 p.m. - #11. Name 3 actors or actresses who died on this day (June 19th).
  • @madam_mina - 1 point for
    Geraldine Brooks, Jean Arthur, Bobby Helms
  • @ShayneWinters - 1 point for Robert Shafer, Scott Merrill, and Zelda Crosby


7 p.m. - #12. Scavenger hunt! Can you find photos online of things that feature YOUR first, middle, and last name? (Each 3 can be separate pics.)


8 p.m. - #13. Tell me, in 140 characters, about your worst date ever. ("Didn't get laid" isn't quite detailed enough, FYI.)
  • @ANGRYSAM - 1 point! "In high school, first date, took girl miniature golfing, other friend swung club & slammed her in the eye. Had to go to hospital." Ouch.
  • @madam_mina - 1 point! "5 Arby's melts for $5 and he was cheap enough to be pissed that we couldn't share a soda because I drink diet and he doesn't" Creep!
  • @herstorian - 1 point! "Worst date=Awkward guy. In a comic shop we had something to talk about;afterward, he was almost silent for 2 hours. Excruciating."


9 p.m. - #14. Name 4 films that are based on conspiracy theories (and tell me which theories they cover). The Mel Gibson/Julia Roberts one = NO. :-P
  • @madam_mina - 1 point (great answers; will post 'em later so nobody steals 'em!)
  • @ShayneWinters - 1 point (though I should deduct one for your choice)
  • @herstorian - 1 point (I especially liked "there is no spoon")


10 p.m. - #15. Trivia: How many American states either begin or end with the letter 'A'?
Okay, there is some debate over this one; I'll have to verify!



11 p.m. - #16. Send me a link to the very first baby photo taken of you! (Hint: it was probably with your birth announcement...)
  • @herstorian - 1 point ( http://bit.ly/njs2U - aww!!)


12 a.m. - #17. Go to this optical illusions site - http://ow.ly/eT90 - and tell me how many you get right. (No cheating!) Highest score gets 1 pt.
Apparently I am the devil and this was a terribly misleading question; points for those who played along!


1 a.m. - #18. Write a Haiku for me about something we both love! Can it be done in 140 characters??
  • @ShayneWinters - 1 point for "Watching horror flicks. / "We're never going there." Bad / things happen in corn." (LOL!!)


2 a.m. - #19. Confess a slightly embarrassing factoid about yourself to me, something I didn't know before. (You can get back at me in one hour!)


3 a.m. - #20. Name 3 of the best guitarists EVER, then link me to a solo by each of them on YouTube. GO!



4 a.m. - #21. Only a scant few hours left to convince a famous actor/actress to send me a get-well tweet... Good luck!



5 a.m. - #22. Okay, it's officially Saturday morning. Upload a "Saturday" song and link to it for download! (hint: you can use MegaUpload/YouSendIt)



6 a.m. - #23. Find and post a picture of someone who shares both your first and last name, but is NOT you!



7 a.m. - #24. Only one away from the grand finale! Trivia: Name Canada's last 4 Prime Ministers AND the last 4 leaders of YOUR country.



8 a.m. - #25. LAST CHALLENGE! Find someone famous on Twitter, of whom I'm a fan but am not already Following, & see if you can get THEM to follow ME! You have until 7:59 p.m. EST (June 20) to accomplish that feat. The Follow only has to last long enough for me to know!




*** THANK YOU to everyone who devoted a full 24 hours to my amusement! I actually want ALL of your addresses - mail me at my username @ gmail!! ***

STAY TUNED FOR FINAL SCORES (Saturday 7:59 p.m. EST...) You have until then to answer the last few!




As of #18, here are the points:


You can still get more with the remaining challenges!
_



PLEASE NOTE:


[Saturday night]
Health issues have sidelined me for a day or two; apologies for the delay, and I'll do the final tally as soon as I'm able. Thanks, guys. xoxo

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Intro to Twitter: A batch of April's best Tweets (of mine)

Chock full of the funniest and weirdest links, lists and pics I've been able to find over the past few days! I hope it provides some amusement. Judging by my international stats, I'm doin' an okay job of it so far. I've now got followers from every continent! If you're unfamiliar with Twitter, no worries - just click the "ow.ly" link next to whichever subjects grab your interest, and it'll take you to the article I'm discussing. Have fun, and get hooked like the rest of us!

April 29th
  • 00:41 What's the measurement term I'm looking for - furlong? Furlough?? Am I even close? Text my cell if you know! Settle a bet for me! #
  • 02:28 RT @atomicrose: @prettyh Furlong! [Thank you, Casey! Bonus points: How MUCH is a furlong??] #
  • 06:25 @aliciamcauley I am SO EXCITED about our upcoming @chuckpalahniuk experience! So...I'll be Scotland and you'll be Ireland? ow.ly/4lNQ #
  • 08:40 I have vegetarian/vegan friends. We respect each other. Possibly why this ("they forced meat on meee!! RAPE!") irks me so. ow.ly/4lHt #
  • 10:20 Whoo, boy. LJ never fails to deliver ~DRAMA~. This time around it's a PostSecret about rape/not rape. See for yourselves: ow.ly/4mCi #
  • 19:55 My friend Lana, who works at CBC3, posted an amusing blog entry re: Music That Makes You Dumb (I'm smart; so there!): ow.ly/4sCX #
  • 20:30 RT @Carlanime: Speaking of the flu, WHO have finally raised the whatsit level to thingy. ow.ly/4sFu [LOL! Well put, Carla.] #
  • 20:55 Doesn't surprise me: 60% of Twitter users quit within their 1st month. They're just not as good at link-hunting as I am! ow.ly/4sP2 #


April 28th
  • 16:17 Too much to dissect for Twitter. Pics of Michael Jackson's Neverland auction - am laughing and shrieking at same time: ow.ly/4hLj #
  • 18:29 This is just getting disgusting. Tori Stafford's mom says she had a secret meeting with a rich benefactor offering ransom: ow.ly/4iSJ #



April 27th
  • 06:22 @madam_mina Shush, you! We gave the Yankees AJ Burnett for a song, and now the poor fellow's under pressure. See: ROY HALLADAY! <3 #
  • 06:24 @mattgood Are there specific Vans you're seeking? I've gotten some from a shop on Queen St/Toronto if you need details. Adidas & Chucks,too. #
  • 06:25 @strombo I'm overtired, probably, but I read your Chris Walken hashtag as "douchedbyabadangel". Good band name, I think. #
  • 06:27 @madam_mina My beloved Jorge Posada is not that far from 40 now! I can relate to the "OMFG I'M OLD" feeling! Our teams SUCKED today. Bah. #
  • 06:55 @johncmayer Also not ugly, ever: soccer (er..."football") players. It's true. Watch the World Cup sometime. Wall to wall gorgeous. #
  • 07:30 "Bewitched" movie is on TV. Lazy late nite/early a.m. viewing, y'see. But it's worse than the RottenTomatoes 25% implies. ow.ly/3Z9v #
  • 08:50 @ShayneWinters You should try AudioCaptcha. It's even more challenging to get right the first try. YouTube's doing it now, too. Stupid. #
  • 09:30 Everyone seems fairly convinced missing girl's mom (Tara, mom of Tori Stafford)is the culprit. Interesting Facebook group: ow.ly/3Z4J #
  • 10:10 Unless you love Woody Allen, AVOID "Cassandra's Dream". HORRIBLE. Even Farrell, McGregor & Wilkinson couldn't save it! ow.ly/3Z4Q #
  • 10:41 @pweifenbach So envious of you being in Vegas! Have you seen the Cirque "LOVE" show? What I'd give! Beatles fans unite!! ow.ly/3ZRK #
  • 11:30 Question: Is there something other than LoudTwitter I could use to have my Tweets sent to my open Blogger? Can't find another shipper! #
  • 12:43 @ShayneWinters You need answers to WHAT? You only asked one question! And yes, thx, I'll take @stephenfry on "Bones". NAY to Cassie Clare!! #
  • 13:25 @aerojad !!! I think, short of proposing marriage, you joining Twitter is the grandest gesture a man has ever made for me. It's fun here! #
  • 14:05 I sleep with a fan on me nearly every night, and I'd NEVER heard the urban legend that it's supposedly FATAL! WTF?? ow.ly/3Z5U #
  • 14:10 "I sleep with a fan on me every night" sounds more sordid than it is. I DO, however, have a Fan Club (I'm not allowed in): ow.ly/40hZ #
  • 14:31 I think I'd like to be a BNF ( ow.ly/40jo ), in my own fandom. As in, I'd be the BNF of Ehch Fandom. Is that a bit too...Mussolini? #
  • 14:45 One more thing re: me having fans: Why do only 19 people love me? Is it because I don't plagiarize fic??( ow.ly/40jQ )*sob*BE MY FAN! #
  • 15:15 I know every word of 'Trainspotting' film, but every fan MUST buy Director's Cut. The deleted scenes? SHOCKING. ow.ly/3Z6s #
  • 15:35 @Carlanime You've gotta know that a pregnant woman in a Naughty Nurse costume is some kind of niche fetish. Lemme know how it turns out. o.O #
  • 16:00 Who among you has an account at Last.FM? (Aside from those already on my list.) I wanna spy on your musical tastes! Mine: ow.ly/40hK #
  • 17:05 RT @MossySloth: @prettyh HOLY CRAP I didn't know Labyrinth was based on a book!!!! [See? My Tweets are educational! ~H~] ow.ly/3MyM #
  • 17:50 RT @yokoono: IMAGINE PEACE:Simplest most effective peace meditation. It's a space transformer.Transforming the world as quickly as possible #
  • 20:25 I have about four years' worth of laundry to do. Think that means I have too many clothes. Diabetes Assoc.'s gettin' a BIG donation this wk. #



April 26th
  • 06:08 I'm laughing way too hard at this. It trumps all of the other terrible street signs. Who knew Welsh was so difficult?? ow.ly/3U2N #
  • 07:05 I've long bitched about Daddy having no cell phone. Now I think I'm grateful; he wouldn't like texts about my sex life: ow.ly/3U30 #
  • 08:25 Twitter can, apparently, cost you your job, reputation, relationships... Here are 5 of the "Worst Tweets Ever": ow.ly/3U4I #
  • 09:25 While not impressed with the resemblance to Heath OUT of makeup, this Joker figure ( ow.ly/3U8C ) is FREAKY in face paint!!! WOW. #
  • 10:50 Punk'd by the 'net: how some companies have gotten SCREWED by social media. I still wonder about the iPod rumour. ow.ly/3U9e #


April 24th
  • 03:05 @MossySloth We need to sit down (er, Skype down!) & compare sleep disorders, I think. That and myriad odd subjects, like: ow.ly/3CO6 #
  • 04:11 @ShayneWinters It scares me a little that you know enough about Dancing With The Stars to ask if the gymnast has been kicked off. And NO. #
  • 04:25 Utterly fascinating link courtesy of @MossySloth, containing a whole lot of conspiracy theories and other überweird stuff: ow.ly/3MpH #
  • 04:41 REAL JIGSAW KILLER:"Mr Howe's head, arm, leg & torso were found [...] Only his hands have not been found. " Why the hands? ow.ly/3MwM #
  • 05:04 Another ex. of nature being warped: Cats in heat sound like babies crying. I hear one outside. It's creepy and makes no biological sense. #
  • 05:20 Haven't yet read it, but LOVE the title of this article:"Children Don't Make You Happy, Says Expert Who Doesn't Have Any": ow.ly/3Mvb #
  • 06:10 Um..good god. "Australia's Miss Universe finalist dangerously underweight". D'you THINK?? I didn't know corpses qualified. ow.ly/3MvC #
  • 07:05 Just FYI, all of my Thurs/Fri tweets have been scheduled as of Wednesday, so if I'm dead by then and you're seeing these, don't panic. #
  • 08:05 I can always outdo myself with weirder lists, you know. "Top 10 Greatest Floating Heads Of All Time". (Only 10?) ow.ly/3CEw #
  • 10:10 @Carlanime You are the only person I've ever heard say, "I'm glad my sex life doesn't involve a speculum." It COULD! See: ow.ly/3CFq #
  • 12:30 LOL!! Re: the chick who was nearly lunch: "Logic tells us that polar bears will do this type of thing in this situation." ow.ly/3Mwn #
  • 13:50 "British scientists study Happy Face Spider". What the hell?? Mother Nature is sicker than I thought; this thing is SCARY! ow.ly/3Mv1 #
  • 14:35 A hilarious collection of street signs and the like. This one forbids soft coconuts on hospital premises. AS IT SHOULD! ow.ly/3Mxk #
  • 14:50 This should be a rule for LIFE: No obnoxious behaviour, no crying/unhappy children, or you'll be booted from the cave! ow.ly/3Mxz #
  • 16:15 @foresthouse If YOU want a Dreamwidth code, ever, let me know! My beloved @jmatwood took care of me: ow.ly/3CGW #
  • 18:20 Top 10 Childrens' Books For People Who Hate Their Children (I'm noticing a theme in my tweets today...): ow.ly/3MyM #
  • 20:35 Another step in the neverending downward spiral of Lindsay Lohan: she's skinnier than the Aussie pageant chick. AUGH!! ow.ly/3MCa #
  • 20:36 @michaelsheen1 I totally read that wrong and thought you said you just had your makeup melting. Which does indeed sound mysterious. #
  • 21:15 A fresh, funny-as-hell take on Billy Bob Thornton's stupidity whilst visiting (read: forcing himself upon) my country: ow.ly/3MD2 #


Saturday, February 7, 2009

Celebrity Scandals: From Christian Bale to Steven Page to John Travolta (and back again?)

It's been a long while since we've heard much from the Barenaked Ladies' camp. Steven Page's drug scandal in July 2008 was hushed within the month, if you follow the dates on the associated stories in the press. The hoopla did make the cover of MacLean's magazine, but beyond that, the newswire went quiet. The last info I managed to find was in November, when Jason Priestly inexplicably made the rounds defending his fellow Canuck:

_____

BNL's frontman 'upset' by drug scandal: Priestley

Updated Thu. Nov. 27 2008 10:50 AM ET

The Canadian Press [ click to read full article; truncated version below ]

TORONTO -- Former "90210" hunk Jason Priestley says he was as stunned as most Barenaked Ladies' fans when his longtime friend Steven Page was convicted on drug charges earlier this year.

The Vancouver-born actor, who forged a relationship with Page and other members of the quirky pop group in the 1990s, says he is among several friends rallying around the singer in the wake of Page's cocaine arrest in upstate New York.

"It was surprising," Priestley said Wednesday of the summer drug scandal in which Page was caught near Syracuse with cocaine.

"(I offered) all the support that he needed and whatever he needed to help him, whatever I could do to help. And I think everybody offered him that same support, how could you not?"

Last month, a New York state judge said Page would be acquitted of drug charges if he stayed clean for six months. Priestley said his friend is doing well, but is "upset" that he got caught up in the situation to begin with.

The former teen heartthrob said he planned to hang out with members of the Barenaked Ladies while he's in Toronto this weekend to host the Gemini Awards, which honour the best in Canadian drama, comedy and variety TV.

Priestley will be handing out trophies along with current "90210" star Shenae Grimes, who will appear as a presenter at Friday's glitzy gala.

[...]

Priestley said next September could also see a special DVD release of "Barenaked in America" to mark the film's 10-year anniversary. He said it would include extra footage and bonus material.

[...]

_______

Not exactly what you'd call "news". But after some digging, I did find one source stating the following: On October 28, Page appeared in court in Fayetteville, New York. Charges against him and the two women were reduced to misdemeanor possession. If Page complies with the terms of the arrangement for six months, including drug screening, the charges will be dropped. So we wait until April, then, to see if Stevie can keep himself out of trouble.


Also interesting - but not surprising whatsoever - is the radio silence following the death of John Travolta's son, Jett. The latest news from that camp has steered all attention away from the strange circumstances surrounding the tragedy, and has instead been focusing on the alleged extortion plot visited upon the Travoltas by a paramedic. A good PR move, really; it makes John and Kelly revert firmly back into Victim Mode, and makes others look like The Bad Guys. I'm curious about what the paramedic knows that would have been worth so much money, though... Stay tuned on that one.



Other celeb scandals, as I'm sure 99% of the planet now knows, are much more visible. For example...


(I do love that picture. And from here on in, I'd say it's a good idea to consider this post VERY NSFW.)

Christian Bale has offered an apology for the embarrassing freakout he had (also in July of '08 - was that a bad month for the star set, I wonder?) on the set of the upcoming Terminator film. If, by some strange chance, you haven't heard the audio or read a transcript of the expletive-laden outburst, you can find both in this post from OhNoTheyDidn't (just scroll up to access the links to the 4-minute long tirade; reading it just doesn't do it justice). Celebrity insanity at its finest!

I'm glad he's apologized, but I have to wonder if this will have any lasting effect on his career. Maybe, maybe not. Strange what people hold grudges about, y'know? Everyone got back to adoring Alec Baldwin PDQ after he was recorded in 2007 calling his 11-year-old daughter a "thoughtless little pig". Many would argue that's far worse than having it out with a colleague on a film set...but Baldwin never missed a step, and his Emmy shelves get more crowded all the time. Perhaps Christian Bale will be similarly fortunate in getting his once-adoring public's forgiveness.

(If you haven't heard it yet, the dance remix for "Bale Out!" is not to be missed. The "video" is below, although it's just a montage of photos featuring Bale looking crazy.)




This wouldn't be a post worth making if I didn't add one last list of Actors Gone Nuts. In my travels, I came across ReelzChannel.Com's collection of "WHEN ACTORS ATTACK!", a top ten list of the best (and weirdest) outbursts from famous folks over the years. I have to say that Casey Kasem's rant made me laugh the hardest, but the Quentin Tarantino interview is just squirm-worthy enough to enjoy, and...well, there's not much surprising about the likes of Bill O'Reilly going off on people, is there? (Be sure to check out someone's clever mashup of Bill versus Bale; it's bloody hysterical.)


One of these days I'll have to make up my OWN list of favourite celebrity meltdowns. But for now, the above bits o' scandal should tide us all over, yes?

Sunday, January 11, 2009

A rather unique list from Nerve.Com ...

You know how much I love lists. And I've been told how much you guys love having them so you can avoid doing actual work. I know, I know - I should wait to post this until tomorrow, so it can be used and abused on a Monday morning. But I have to be up at the crack of hell myself (and I don't get 'net access in my office, thankyouverymuch), so we'll have to get an early start on this one.

I stumbled across it quite by accident while signing up for a pledge to blog about an influential woman on March 24th (an entry about that is forthcoming), and while reading the short story that inspired "Secretary", one of my favourite movies. (That, too, probably merits its own entry. Or, possibly, a fundraiser to pay for the psychotherapy I clearly need.) It's a top 40 list of pop culture icons, all of whom we know but many of whom we've completely forgotten.





Click the photo to go to the complete list (I shan't be lifting ALL of it from Nerve.Com), but first have a taste of some highlights:


We've all been there. You're yukking it up at a party and someone cracks a one-liner about Kato Kaelin over their gin and tonic. A few people chuckle, a few more ask, "Who?" and you quietly wonder: what the hell happened to that guy? Nerve's got your answer with our exhaustively researched look at the forty greatest lost icons in pop-culture history. Come on in and catch up with the walking ephemera everyone's only mostly forgotten.

I don't know that I've ever been to a party where the guests are bourgeois enough to make Kato Kaelin jokes, but..sure. I've no doubt attended a few during which at least some of the remaining 39 "lost icons" have come up, and I imagine some of you have been at those shindigs right next to me. Hell, you might've been the one making the obscure cracks yourself!

Never in a million years would I have dreamed that some intrepid journalist would track down, for our information and to satiate our Need To Know, a whole whack of Barker's Beauties from The Price Is Right. Complete with video, no less! Maybe YOU could sleep at night without knowing, but not all of us are so fortunate.

One of my favourites is the update on Michael Fay, the American kid who...well, just read this:

Michael Fay was your average American teenager: hyperactive, bored, prone to defacing property. In the early 1990s, he touched off a geopolitical firestorm when Singapore officials sentenced him to six canings for vandalizing cars and stealing street signs. The punishment so shocked Western sensibilities, President Bill Clinton himself asked for clemency, succeeding only in reducing the sentence to four canings. So it was that on May 4, 1994, Fay was stripped naked, bent over on his arms, strapped to a trestle, and struck with a half-inch rattan rod. Fay has largely disappeared from the public eye since, surfacing here and there for assorted petty crimes: reckless driving, possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia, and sniffing butane (which he blamed on the Singapore ordeal). Four strokes clearly wasn't enough.

Remember him?? I wonder how long it took before he could sit down again.



And has it ever occurred to you to wonder whatever became of the baby who famously appeared on the cover of Nirvana's Nevermind album?? I bet it hasn't, but I know you're curious now. You've just gotta click to find out where Jessica Hahn and Joey Buttafuoco ended up. And the "Where's the beef?" lady. It's compelling stuff. Hard-hitting. Christiane Amanpour should watch her back.



Honestly, WHO THINKS UP THESE LISTS??

Whoever it is, I love them.



Enjoy your end-of-the-weekend dose of brain candy, my friends. Or save it for your dreary Monday morning. Either way, don't say I never gave you anything.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Time to gloat: Celebs without makeup 2008

This was (and possibly still is) meant to be a post at Oh No They Didn't!, but while LiveJournal is down, you guys can ogle at the astonishing pics yourselves. (In both a good and a bad way, depending on which celeb you're ogling.) I'm hoping this will make up for the distinct lack of levity in my previous post about sexual harassment (many, many thanks to those who passed that entry around, or posted it on your own blogs, Facebook profiles, and emailed me or commented in my LJ with your responses - you're all very kind, and very brave); I need to offset that with some fluff here and there, lest I depress you all to bits.

Without further ado, then... (I should add that the commentary is NOT MINE.)


Bare (or almost) faced stars


Most of these celebs are just as beautiful without the red carpet spackle.

Admit it: sometimes it's nice to see that the glamourous ladies that have paraded across our screens and magazine covers in 2008 aren't all they're cracked up to be. Here we have a collection of 13 of those gorgeous women sans cover-up; which ones will still stand up as true untouched beauties??




Isla Fisher
Isla is seen here 'au naturel' with her little one in a park. We think she looks great with or without make up. (credit: Most Wanted Pictures)



Jennifer Garner
Jennifer is seen here on a day out with her adorable daughter. It looks like she didn’t feel the need to put on any make up, and we agree. She looks good without it. (credit: Most Wanted Pictures)


Kate Moss
It looks like the years of being an international supermodel are starting to wear on Kate, but even though she's not wearing any make up, she still looks half decent. (credit: Most Wanted Pictures)


Kim Kardashian
This curvacious lady has gotten back into her routine, and she is seen here leaving the salon after getting a mani and pedi. This is what you call a natural beauty. (credit: Most Wanted Pictures)



Heidi Klum
This supermodel looks good in and out of the ads, whether she's wearing make up or not. Heidi is one good looking momma. (credit: INF)



Mischa Barton
Mischa looks calm and relaxed as she heads out for her day. We like to think that no make up works for her. (credit: INF)


Uma Thurman
Uma is looking just like a normal mom hanging out with her son. Even though she's known for her killer good looks, Uma still looks great without make up. (credit: Most Wanted Pictures)


Jessica Biel
Jessica gave a speech in Las Vegas to support Barack Obama in his presidential campaign. If she can go in front of millions of people with little to no make up on and still look stunning, then we say all the power to her! (credit: Most Wanted Pictures)


Jessica Alba
Jessica was spotted heading to dinner with a pal and looking oh so comfortable in her natural look. This beauty doesn’t need to think twice when she decided not to wear make up, she looks great either way. (credit: Most Wanted Pictures)


Marcia Cross
This desperate house wife looks just about the same with or without make up on. In her case, going au naturel isn't a crime. (credit: Most Wanted Pictures)


Leann Rimes
Leann looks just smitten here, as she's seen leaving a medical building with her hubby. We think Leann is one of few that can pull of this look and still look fabulous while doing so. (credit: Most Wanted Pictures)


Kate Hudson
Kate is seen here at LAX en route to London, and looking a bit stressed. Maybe she should get some sleep on that flight so at least she can look more refreshed despite her lack of makeup. (credit: Most Wanted Pictures)



Madonna
Madonna is looking a little worn out and her age is starting show, with lack of make up. Maybe it's just her fast paced world tour taking a bigger toll on her than expected? (credit: Devaney/WireImage)



Saved the scariest for last!! And yep, they were right: I do feel better, and I enjoyed a gloat or two, as I hope readers/fellow ONTDers have. A Kardashian being called a natural beauty?!? Um...no. But damn you, JAlba. DAMN YOU.


[ cosmetics-free source ]

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Celebrities, for better or worse.

Last night on DramaRama there was a slide show of a whole lot of before-and-after pictures, each featuring a current A-List celebrity. It's safe to say that most of these superstars have made MAJOR improvements to their looks over the years, but seeing these pics side by side makes it a whole lot more obvious just who has had what done in their plastic surgeon's office! Here's hoping this blog doesn't cut off any of the photos, so you can see them in all their spectacular...glory? Horror? Guess it depends on which one you're looking at. Check out these nightmarish flashbacks to see who's gone under the knife (and who should go back for more):

SARAH JESSICA PARKER (1990 and now)


WOLL SMOTH WILL SMITH (1990 and now)


DEMI MOORE (1984 and now)


BRAD PITT (1988 and now)


ANGELINA JOLIE (1991 and earlier this year)


KEANU REEVES (1989 and now)


TERI HATCHER (1993 and now)


LEONARDO DiCAPRIO (1993 and now)


HALLE BERRY (1992 and now)


JOHNNY DEPP (1988 and now)


JENNIFER ANISTON (1990 and now)


GEORGE CLOONEY (1990 and now)


NICOLE KIDMAN (1983 and now)




So who on this list looks like they haven't had some serious work done?? (Maybe Johnny; all he had to do was give up the drugs.)

There's your fluffy Wednesday edition of Ehch's Blatherings! We're halfway through the week... STAY STRONG.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Monday linkspam, my lovelies!

Another week begins (and this one marks the start of Charmaine's new job, so everyone should wish her luck!). In order to help us all get through it, then, I've opted to bring to you a collection of your favourite kind of linkspam: LISTS. This lot was easy to compile, since they all presented themselves to me once I'd posted that horrifying article on The 50 Worst Movie Sex Scenes on Facebook. (I just knew we'd see "Monster's Ball" [NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!] on there; my god, I had to look away, and I was alone when I saw it). So give thanks to Nerve.Com for the following collection that should provide you at least an hour of amusement... (Be warned, as usual, that there's a 99% chance that most of this is NSFW. Just because it's Char's first day doesn't mean it should be anyone's LAST at their job, just for reading my blog. I do have some conscience. Sort of.)

  • The Top 20 Viral Videos of 2007 - I see that the featured one is that lovely Miss America "a lot of kids don't have maps!!" clip; having not yet looked at the rest, I can only imagine...

  • The 20 Hottest Music Videos Of All Time - am I seriously the only one who finds Fiona Apple's "Criminal" more disturbing and repulsive than sexy?? I fail to see what an emaciated young woman crawling around in her underwear is meant to offer us by way of...well, anything. Actually, this list is, in my opinion, TERRIBLE. Aside from Shakira, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears and David Bowie (and who'd have thought I'd ever name them in the same sentence??), the rest of these choices are a complete miss. I mean...Rick James? Seriously?? And "Hot For Teacher" is just asinine. Bad song, bad video, lousy band. And NOT HOT. I think I need to do my own list (and make 25 of them Nine Inch Nails videos...).

  • The 50 Best Date Movies - there are some seriously weird choices here ("Donnie Darko"??? On a DATE??), but everyone knows that "Say Anything..." is gonna make this list. How many of the 50 are you willing to admit you saw? (I'm still counting.) Extra points for putting "Heathers" on the list, but...I'm not sure what kind of date that would make for. More bonus points for the brilliant "Me And You And Everyone We Know"!

  • The 40 Best Celebrity Rumours Ever - because some people still think that Richard Gere has a special place in his...heart...for his gerbil, and that Marilyn Manson got his start on Mr. Belvedere. Sigh.

  • America's Top 10 Political Sex Scandals - how timely! I can't wait for someone to catch Obama doing something that isn't as patently dull as everything he's said and done so far.
  • The 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches Of All Time - yeah, it's probably just me, but I think Christopher Walken's most recent appearance on SNL, in which he plays a gardener with a fear of plants ("I always knew it would be the ferns!"), should have made this list.

  • The 50 Greatest Commercial Parodies Of All Time - self-explanatory. Some commercials are just so easy to spoof.


Now get on with your blue Monday, folks. (I'm blue because I SHOULD BE IN FREAKIN' WALES INSTEAD OF HERE, but that's another story.) I hope everyone still has their jobs after that whole bad sex scene list. I for one am still shuddering (and for the first time am glad my office doesn't have 'net access).

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Scotland, and how my blogs are "graded", plus LINKSPAM!

I've had a couple of people ask me when I'm going to post in this public forum about my recent excursion across the pond, and...well...the answer is: I'm not. There are a few reasons for this, the principal of which being that I have posted an awful lot about it already, but have done so in my Very Private Blog, and if you could see how bloody long those entries are you would immediately understand why I don't feel like I can rewrite the whole thing (or scrub it up enough to have it be fully public). I do come bearing an offer of compromise, though, for the Very Interested (and I won't even ask you why you're Very Interested). I have a mirror blog that acts as something of a second-tier privacy module, if you will. Yes, I have three blogs, and yes, they all share some of the basic posts, but they each have varying degrees of privacy. It's kind of like the CDC, and how they classify deadly viruses.

  • Biosafety Level 1 is PrettyH @ Blogger (You Are Here). It's open to the public and is searchable on Google. Anyone and everyone can read what I write here; I don't censor or edit posts, and I welcome unmoderated comments. If you're A-OK with just getting my occasional topical rant or a collection of bizarre links every so often, and never having to see any of my more personal stuff, this is where you wanna stay.
  • Biosafety Level 2 is PrettyH @ InsaneJournal. It acts as a mirror journal to my Level 3 blog, meaning I transfer the less controversial or disturbing or objectionable entries there, still giving a fairly good glimpse into The Real Thing but without the worry of any sensitive info getting into the wrong hands. I tend to set up accounts for people I trust and give them the passwords to allow them to read at will; if you want to do the same, or if you want to make up your own account, GO HERE, then add me as a friend, and chances are - if I know who you are - you'll be admitted without hesitation. (I'd suggest you get a username that I can figure out, or comment here or on my IJ to let me know you've arrived!) There are a few very specific people I'm actively keeping out, which is really the only reason I have it locked down at all.
  • Biosafety Level 3 is PrettyH @ LiveJournal. I have an established Friends List there, complete with filters for various subjects, and as a rule I no longer add people to that list. I've developed a degree of trust with those who read my near-daily posts (and whose I read daily as well), and the balance is good; I don't wish to allow any further additions lest I err in my choices and find my private business being splashed all over the 'net. It contains details about everything from my boyfriends to my job to my family to my strange adventures and experiences, and it is therefore locked down like a prison during a riot.
  • Biosafety Level 4 is my actual, physical, paper journal, kept since I was 9 or 10 to the present, which gets read by NOBODY (although a small handful of you know about two other secret locations where I occasionally transcribe the deep, dark stuff that usually comes first from my pen).


My point in telling you this? I know there are a good number of you who have this blog on GoogleReader or on their RSS feed, and some folks have emailed me asking why A) I don't update this one very often, and/or B) this blog is so...surface, most of the time. Now you know. And the invitation to step up to Level 2 is there for you now, should you wish to take it. That is where all of what I've written thus far about my time in Scotland is located, so it's there, if you're willing to reach for the key to open the lock!

Meantime, I can and will gladly share my photo album, at the very least, with anyone who's interested (and who isn't on Facebook already): Ehch's UK Trip 2008 in all its glory can be viewed at your leisure.

And I'd love it if you'd leave a comment here and direct me to your blog, if you have one, because I like keeping up with my friends' lives (and those of strangers, too...)!

Now to the fun stuff (because, here in Canada, we're just coming off a long weekend for Thanksgiving, so this is technically a Monday for us in terms of the work week - BLARGH - and you know how I like to amuse you with twisted links on Mondays). Long live the time-sucking glory of my lists! (Note that some of these links may contain mildly NSFW material, so don't go clicking away while your boss is standing behind you or anything.)

  • The 11 Most Awkward Imaginable Moments - I don't know how these people had enough time to devote to these photo manipulations, but a couple of them made me laugh aloud.

  • 7 Music Trends Whose Return Must Be Stopped - I am unaware of any up-and-coming mass celebrity Christmas songs in the works, but I do think that Hair Metal is a threat about which we should all be vigilant. (Also worth noting: Level 42 escaped mention in the "Bands With Numbers 4 Names" segment. I think I'd have boggled if they hadn't.) "Dudes As Ugly Chicks" made me spit out my drink.

  • 5 Bizarre Ways The Weather Can Kill You Without Warning - because, apparently, terrorist alert levels aren't enough; now we need to live in ph33r that Mother Nature is gonna bust a cap in our asses for no good reason.

  • 6 Horrible Lessons Movies Like To Teach Kids - even if I've mentioned this one before, it is so worth reading again. The Creepy Recluse is Actually the Nicest Person on the Block gets me every time. It's so true. HOW DID WE NOT ALL GET KIDNAPPED?!?

  • 6 Famous People Who Pissed Away Their Fortune - because it's fun to laugh and point at the Have Nots who did it to themselves. Greedy bastards. Yes, I'm talking about you, Ed McMahon.

  • The 5 Most Clearly Insane Public Figures Endorsing McCain - I would've enjoyed this more if they'd also done a Top 5 list of Obama-llamas, too. If anyone happens to find one, please do share! Still, I did get a chuckle out of the GW pics, like this one...



And now, to wrap up, a few of the newer (and funnier) urban legends hitting our beloved Snopes.Com lately:


  • Doll Talk - A Fisher-Price doll utters phrases such as "Satan is king!" and "Islam is the light!" Where can I buy one of these??

  • Spare Ribs - a collection of photos that show a woman who had her lowest ribs removed so she could look extra faboo in that corset.

  • Dolphin Rings - a video apparently showing that dolphins can make bubble rings and actually play a game with them. That's smarter than a lot of humans I know.

  • Why English Teachers Die Young - a list of hilariously bad metaphors that would probably be enough to drive any teacher to suicide. (If that doesn't work, try reading a Laurell K. Hamilton blog entry. WORDS IS HER BUSINESS.)

  • Obama Sex Video! - I cannot believe there are enough people who would want to see such a thing that this would be an effective way to spread a computer virus... Eugh. But I do love the text of the email, which ends off so eloquently with, "Obama it's not right choice!!" Poetry, I tell you.

  • Strawberry, QUICK - so we're just getting over the whole Jim Jones Kool-Aid business, and now we have to wonder if there's meth in our Quik?? Is nothing sacred??


Hope that helped you kill some time at the start of our short week, fellow Canucks. To everyone else...well, you're just as close to Friday as we are (hell, some of you Aussie types are even closer!), so... Wait. What was I talking about?

This is what happens when I let myself blog before sunrise. Hardy har.

I'm sure my next entry will have a little more substance than this one did. We can hope.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

For those asking about my trip - where and why, for example...

Mmkay. I leave for the airport Thursday morning (Oct. 2nd) and won't be back until probably late Tuesday/early Wednesday (Oct. 8th). The Glasgow airport is mercifully only a 15 minute taxi ride from our hotel. And oooh, they only have those awesome black taxis with the doors that open the wrong way!! [/geek] I'm 90% sure I'll be taking my laptop (free WiFi in my room, plus I can upload my photos every day & clear off my cards), so I may be able to be in touch that way. My Mom has gotta be freaking at the thought of being without her daughter AND her husband AT THE SAME TIME (this has actually never happened in their 34 years of marriage), so she's hoping I'll find a way to access Facebook & can then pretend I'm only in the next room. Poor Mommy. (But my uncle is here with her the whole time we're gone, so he'll doubtlessly keep her occupied and thoroughly entertained.)


I called the hotel yesterday just to confirm everything (since we booked through Expedia, I figured it'd be wise to ensure that all our bases are covered before we jump on a plane), and it was hilarious. First I kept dialing it wrong - there's a zero you have to drop, and I never remember which one (which is why I put the CORRECT number above), so I kept getting told the number was out of service. NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR from a hotel at which you're supposed to be arriving in a few days!! So I sent an email to their reservations inquiries address, which said, in part,

Hello! I've been trying to get through via the telephone, but I'm being told the listed number is no longer in service. (This could, however, be as a result of me being from Canada and being hopeless at dialing internationally.)

Uh...d-uh. "Me Canadian! ME NO DIAL GOOD!!" This appearance of stupidity skyrocketed when I finally DID figure out how to get through, and - after not understanding a bloody word the woman at the front desk said by way of greeting - I had to confess to her that I'd also sent an email and that she could delete it now. She had a good laugh over that. "It's not Mars, dear!" she said in her lovely brogue, and I chuckled and explained the whole I've-never-been-off-the-continent thing. She got quite excited at that.

"Oooh, you've not been out of Canada and you've chosen us, then?" was what I believe she said (but don't quote me on it).

"Well, I've been to various parts of Canada and the U.S., but our phone numbers are a lot shorter here. We need simplicity."

That gave her more to laugh at, of course. "Let me check my schedule to see if I'll be at the desk when you check in, love," she said, which amused me, and after hearing pages flip for a moment (and listening to my phone bill rack up with each passing second), she said quite gleefully, something that sounded like, "Oh, aye! It'll be me here to greet you! We love having Canadians stay. You're a charming lot."

Pity I didn't understand what the hell she was saying when she spoke her name at the intro. It sounded Martian, anyway.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that, when she asked for my name so she could confirm the details, I said, "There are two rooms, both under the same last name but different first names."

"All righty," she said. "Last name, then?"

"It's Swanson. S-W-A..."

She laughed. "It's all right, dear. We have a lot of those."

*laughs* Yeah. I guess they would.

She also added that she'd try to get us rooms that overlook the pond, to which I responded, "You have a pond??" (As though somehow that's the most absurd, bizarre thing I could imagine..? I...dunno. I think my excitement about the trip has overtaken my IQ points.)

A moment of silence. "Why, yes, dear. We're called the Glasgow Pond Hotel."

"I just figured it was a pretty name."

Again she laughed. "No, dear. One side of our grounds is taken over by a large pond that's full of swans, which I'm sure you'd like to see from your window."

I assume this is because of my name...? Either way, the pond-side rooms are an extra £s;25 a night, and she wants to just give them to us for being Canadian and being Swansons and being phone-illiterate, so I'll take it! I'm rather looking forward to meeting this woman, whatever her name is. She made me day. (*LAUGHS* I meant to type MY, not ME. Oh, god, it's starting already.)


There's something to be said about staying in a Best Western no matter where you are. You have a reasonable expectation that things will be nice. Not fancy, but nice. Having said that, though, this one has just been overhauled, and...it would seem they went for "fancy". They're graded as a 3-star (presumably because of the not-outrageous cost compared to the other hotels in Glasgow) but actually fall into the requirements of a 4-star, so...again, I'LL TAKE IT.

The website shares all sorts of happifying information, like the fact that the bar is open 24 hours a day. Whoo! That plus 24 hour room service and a dessert list longer than one's arm? Yeah. I'll have to be conscious of not spending too much time in my room. But it's really good to know that, at the end of an exhausting day of prowling about the countryside, we have such a nice place to crash. For whatever reason, my Dad and I each got a double room, so I plan to switch beds each night. And if I pick up any cute Scottish boys, I'll have somewhere to chuck them when I've gotten what I wanted and would prefer not to share a bed once I'm ready to sleep. Works out well, I think.

My Dad is going to have to be torn away from the huge flat screen LCD TVs that are on each of our walls. That could get interesting. By the way, the principal reason for getting separate rooms is because my father snores like the world is ending, but yes, it is in the back of my mind that I'd like to have at least one illicit hookup. Hah!

Yes, I am bad. But that makes me FUN. And on that particular subject, does anyone have any advice for me on how to snag me a Scottish one-night stand? I have the whole Canadian thing going in my favour, but if anyone would care to offer some tips (especially if you've had your own overseas hookup adventures!), I'm listening. Closely. I'd like to have the entire Scotland experience, if you get what I'm sayin'. Nadine and I were just discussing this the other night - my lack of whore-dom when I was at the prime age to slut about freely - so I'd like to remedy that with at least ONE international one night stand.

Morals? What morals? I never said I had any, did I? If I did, I was lying through my teeth. Besides, it's been 2 years since I last got any (we know who ruined me for a while), so methinks a vacation is a good time to...er...get back in that saddle. (I'M KIDDING.)


I suspect we'll be spending a goodly amount of time in this lounge, because my father is a sucker for fresh scones, and they have an after-hours menu that puts Fran's to shame. (Toronto nightlife reference; don't mind me.) I'm also hoping that it'll be chilly enough to warrant them having their 7,012,548 fireplaces going. I swear, you look at pictures of this place and wonder how they managed to divide every single room and lobby and section of anything with a great big modern fireplace. Gorgeous! Not sure if I have one in my room, though, but as I said, I'll be distracted by the wall-sized TV. Who the hell said that the rooms in UK hotels are ridiculously small compared to North America??

I'm not positive, but I think this is a photo of the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall, which is where, on the evening of Sunday, October 5th,I'll be scratching one more thing off my Bucket List and finally seeing my most beloved band: Level 42. I canNOT put into words the degree of excitement I feel about this. And yep, I'm goin' alone. 4th row centre!! I've never been to a concert alone before, but I suspect this will be a lot of fun, because I can just make friends with everyone sitting around me. And, eventually, with the band (although I wish to hell Mark King had answered my diva-free request for a backstage pass; I only asked because I want photos to bring home to my Mom, and you can take pics during the show, so I HAVE to meet them! I'll use my womanly wiles if I have to. Flirt with their security guards. It can be done.)

We're also spending a day in Edinburgh, of course (and, if we can pull it off, Belfast as well), which will involve - among other things - one of the coolest walking tours I've ever heard about! It's called "The Ghosts & Ghouls Underground Tour, which is apparently creepy enough that they have to give you complimentary BOOZE once you get through it. (My Dad doesn't drink more than once every couple of years, which means he gets goofy after half a glass of wine; this oughta be fun.) About the tour: By day Edinburgh is a bustling metropolis – but at night the old buildings and narrow closes take on a more sinister air…A long history of murder, torture, hangings and plague has left a haunting legacy on the city's Old Town and ghostly apparitions now walk its streets.

Enter the underground vaults whose walls, it is said, have absorbed the memories of those who once lived and worked there. This part of the tour is not for the faint-hearted. Cling tightly to the person beside you: we try to leave with the same number as we had on going in!

Choose the extended tour and end your experience with a complimentary drink in the atmospheric Megget’s Cellar, a candlelit nook located above the Underground Vaults, where the guide will continue to entertain you with eerie tales from Edinburgh’s past.

Be Warned: Mercat Tours employs neither sound nor visual effects on this tour. If you see or hear something untoward during your time with us - Be Concerned !!!



Ohhh, yes. This is gonna be SO MUCH FUN. Add in a bus tour around Loch Lomond (which, as you can see from the photo, is incredibly beautiful... I seriously thought places could only look like this in the movies, after a lot of touch-ups from the FX crew. Apparently not...) and a whole bunch of cool stuff right around our hotel (like The Necropolis - how deliciously creepy to think my hotel is across the street from 3,500 corpses...), and whatever else catches our fancy, and it's gonna be epic. There are endless antique bookshops around our neighbourhood, which will have my father completely thrilled, and I think just being surrounded by that fantastic accent for most of a week will make the whole experience well worthwhile. Everyone's surprised that we're not going for longer, but between my Dad's work schedule (and now mine), money, and the odds that we'll be bloody knackered by the end of the fifth day, I think we're doing just fine.


[ Glasgow's Necropolis ]



I am also, as you can imagine, thrilled to pieces to discover that I'm going to the one city in the world that calls its subway "The Clockwork Orange". It's the weirdest little train - only 3 cars long, and it comes every 5 minutes, and it has a track that's only about 11km long! My hotel is close to the main train depot, so I'll definitely be hopping on at least once to take a spin around the underside of the city!


[ CLOCKWORK ORANGE!! ]




And as you can see...
...it looks like - according to BBC's weather report for Glasgow, we'll be flying into a sunny, chilly day, which is exactly what we want!

So there you have it. I unfortunately can't promise postcards to everyone this time, because that could get SCARILY expensive, but if you want to email me your complete mailing address I will certainly do my very best.

One last question for those who do a lot more international travel than I do: What can I bring as far as toothpaste/mouthwash/lip gloss/other liquids when I pack?? I can't remember how to go about that whole "you can't have liquids on the plaaaaane" thing, so I'd like to know how to get around that or how to make it simplest. And how much can I bring back? Is there a monetary limit on the souvenirs I can come home with?

I can't believe I'll be on six different planes over the next two weeks, when everybody knows I HATE TO FLY. Oh, god. (And yes, I'll gladly take advice or anecdotes on HOW NOT TO FREAK OUT ON THE PLANES, too.) These are the right models but not necessarily the right airlines. I'm flying US Airways and British Airways only.

From Toronto to Philadelphia: Canadair RJ


From Philadelphia to Manchester: Airbus 330-300


From Manchester to Glasgow: EMB-135


And coming home...

From Glasgow to London: Boeing 737-400


From London to Philadelphia: Boeing 757


From Philadelphia to Toronto: Canadair RJ


AUGH! Some of them are just...way too small. ESPECIALLY THE FIRST AND LAST ONES. I barely kept it together on the EMBs from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara! *deep breath* Xanax and beer. Xanax and beeeeer.

ANYWAY. Consider that my comprehensive pre-Scotland post. It took me TWO HOURS to type. I need a nap now.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

German Lesbians Pick Top 10 Sexiest Actresses

Yes. I'm serious.

I'd originally intended to submit this to Oh No They Didn't!, a celebrity gossip blog to which I occasionally contribute, but another member beat me to the punch. Still...this has to be the most random poll ever - talk about a niche! - but I found it amusing & thought I should share! (And yes, these ARE the wretched photos the article chose to feature; I coulda done much, much better than most of these, so for the sake of eye candy, I HAVE. SERIOUSLY, if you're trying to make a case for any of these women being attractive, WHY wouldn't you choose the photos that I opted for???) The barely-there commentary beneath each photo is right from the source, too. Blasé!! Anyway, enjoy this image-heavy post (made much prettier by the photos I chose), and ask yourself how much money was spent on polling for the results. I don't get it.

From the source:

Lesbian Poll Tallies Up Top 10 Sexiest Actresses



Lesbian choice:
Hollywood’s sexiest women

8. September 2008, 14:55 Uhr


Lesbians rate [redacted so you'll be SURPRISED] as their top sexual fantasy, a new poll has revealed. The British actress took the number one spot in the 'Women We’d Love To Love' poll of 4,000 gay women.

#10. CATE BLANCHETT

Cate Blanchett just made it into the Top 10.

[ MY CHOICE OF PHOTO (source) BELOW ]




#9. CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

Not only men seem to like her: Catherine Zeta-Jones is No.9.

[ MY CHOICE OF PHOTO (source) BELOW ]





#8. EMILY BLUNT

No. 8: Emily Blunt, 24, (front) played in 'My Summer in Love' with Natalie Press.

[ MY CHOICE OF PHOTO (source) BELOW ]






#7. THANDIE NEWTON

No. 7: Actress Thandie Newton.

[ MY CHOICE OF PHOTO (source) BELOW ]






#6. KEIRA KNIGHTLEY

British actress Keira Knightley (6th place) poses for photographers as she arrives for the world premiere of her film 'The Duchess'.

[ MY CHOICE OF PHOTO (source) BELOW ]






#5. NAOMI WATTS

The English-born Australian actress Naomi Watts (5th place).

[ MY CHOICE OF PHOTO (source) BELOW ]






#4. KATE WINSLET

Kate Winslet is in 4th place. She was nominated for an Oscar for her acting in 'Titanic'.

[ MY CHOICE OF PHOTO (source) BELOW ]






#3. MINNIE DRIVER

Actress Minnie Driver came in third.

[ MY CHOICE OF PHOTO (source) BELOW ]






#2. NICOLE KIDMAN

No. 2: Nicole Kidman. And the winner is...

[ MY CHOICE OF PHOTO (source) BELOW - you may have to click that source link, because this blog is formatted in such a way that her head may be cut off!! ]





AND THE HOTTEST ACTRESS ACCORDING TO 4,000 GERMAN LESBIANS IS:



#1. RACHEL WEISZ

...actress Rachel Weisz, she is the sexiest of them all.

[ MY CHOICE OF PHOTO (source) BELOW ]







I cannot think of any "sexiest whatever" poll EVER that chose to use THE most unflattering photos of their subjects more effectively than this one!! LMAO @ pics for #s 3 and 8!!! And I even think #2 might be a WAX FIGURE.

So who's missing from this list? I VOTE DREW BARRYMORE, but the majority of these choices seem to be of the underweight, non-curvy sort. Who's REALLY the sexiest actress out there?


[ poll source ]