Monday, October 20, 2008

Monday linkspam, my lovelies!

Another week begins (and this one marks the start of Charmaine's new job, so everyone should wish her luck!). In order to help us all get through it, then, I've opted to bring to you a collection of your favourite kind of linkspam: LISTS. This lot was easy to compile, since they all presented themselves to me once I'd posted that horrifying article on The 50 Worst Movie Sex Scenes on Facebook. (I just knew we'd see "Monster's Ball" [NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!] on there; my god, I had to look away, and I was alone when I saw it). So give thanks to Nerve.Com for the following collection that should provide you at least an hour of amusement... (Be warned, as usual, that there's a 99% chance that most of this is NSFW. Just because it's Char's first day doesn't mean it should be anyone's LAST at their job, just for reading my blog. I do have some conscience. Sort of.)

  • The Top 20 Viral Videos of 2007 - I see that the featured one is that lovely Miss America "a lot of kids don't have maps!!" clip; having not yet looked at the rest, I can only imagine...

  • The 20 Hottest Music Videos Of All Time - am I seriously the only one who finds Fiona Apple's "Criminal" more disturbing and repulsive than sexy?? I fail to see what an emaciated young woman crawling around in her underwear is meant to offer us by way of...well, anything. Actually, this list is, in my opinion, TERRIBLE. Aside from Shakira, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears and David Bowie (and who'd have thought I'd ever name them in the same sentence??), the rest of these choices are a complete miss. I mean...Rick James? Seriously?? And "Hot For Teacher" is just asinine. Bad song, bad video, lousy band. And NOT HOT. I think I need to do my own list (and make 25 of them Nine Inch Nails videos...).

  • The 50 Best Date Movies - there are some seriously weird choices here ("Donnie Darko"??? On a DATE??), but everyone knows that "Say Anything..." is gonna make this list. How many of the 50 are you willing to admit you saw? (I'm still counting.) Extra points for putting "Heathers" on the list, but...I'm not sure what kind of date that would make for. More bonus points for the brilliant "Me And You And Everyone We Know"!

  • The 40 Best Celebrity Rumours Ever - because some people still think that Richard Gere has a special place in his...heart...for his gerbil, and that Marilyn Manson got his start on Mr. Belvedere. Sigh.

  • America's Top 10 Political Sex Scandals - how timely! I can't wait for someone to catch Obama doing something that isn't as patently dull as everything he's said and done so far.
  • The 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches Of All Time - yeah, it's probably just me, but I think Christopher Walken's most recent appearance on SNL, in which he plays a gardener with a fear of plants ("I always knew it would be the ferns!"), should have made this list.

  • The 50 Greatest Commercial Parodies Of All Time - self-explanatory. Some commercials are just so easy to spoof.

Now get on with your blue Monday, folks. (I'm blue because I SHOULD BE IN FREAKIN' WALES INSTEAD OF HERE, but that's another story.) I hope everyone still has their jobs after that whole bad sex scene list. I for one am still shuddering (and for the first time am glad my office doesn't have 'net access).


Morgi said...

Wow. I've seen one movie out of that whole list (Howard the Duck... shut up, it was on cable when we first got it) and I was obviously too young to remember the sex scene.

Steve Martin and Helena Bonham Carter? AUGH!

~Ehch~ said...

My uncle, circa 1984 (?), said he would take me to a movie. He gave me the choice, and I took a pass on The Neverending Story in order to drag him to see Howard The Duck. HE HAS NEVER FORGIVEN ME. (I don't remember the sex scene either, THANK GOD.)

Novocaine was a very, very uncomfortable viewing experience. Helena looked faboo, as always, but...yeah. If you ever see it, let me know what you think. It's...interesting. *shudder*

Morgi said...

Having also now looked at the comedy sketch list, I really really think "Who's On First" should have been number one out of the list, but anyway. I think we have some classic SNL (you know, from when they were funny) in our Netflix queue, and I know the first season of SCTV is on there. I was amused to see The Two Ronnies make it, I watched that with my mother years and years ago...

~Ehch~ said...

Do you own the SCTV Christmas Special? 'Cos if not, methinks I have an obligation, as a Canadian, to get you one. We watch it every year and we always laugh 'til we cry. SNL was never that good! (Well, okay...maybe a season or two. Maybe.)

Morgi said...

Nope, don't own any SCTV, though from just looking at stuff about it online I'm impressed how much I remember about the characters. (My mother has a talking Ed Grimley doll...)

What was the show with Martin Mull and Martin Short dressed as sailors singing about seamen? Was that SCTV?